United with Jesus and Mary in Suffering and New Life
One of the pieces of being a Christ-follower that has always been so important to me is the notion that we are united in suffering with Jesus. The second piece of being a Christ-follower that has been so meaningful to me is the way I get to connect to the heart of Jesus through Mary. This is probably a good indication to everyone that I grew up Catholic (LOL) and I love that woman. I don’t know if it’s because I consider myself to be a feminist or because I’m a woman or because of whatever, but I have come to know so much more about the heart of Jesus through the eyes of Mary. As I reflected on the past few days of suffering, death, and resurrection, I often tried to put on the lens of Mary through it. I try to imagine what it would be like to be in the unique position of a Mother, watching her Son die a brutal death. It helps me understand the humanity of it all. More to come about my love of Mary in future writings.
I have always been fascinated by Good Friday because there would be no Easter Sunday without it. While I cannot imagine what Good Friday really felt like for Jesus, I have felt waves of pain, suffering and betrayal in my own life. I can feel those feelings in my heart and my body. I feel most connected to Christ on a day like Good Friday because I can recall some of the feelings in my own life that remind me of the pain Jesus must have been experiencing (x100000000).
But what is most significant to me is what happens between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. Pope John Paul II said “Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song.” These next few days and weeks in particular give me so much hope and so much promise of new life. There is always light and hope around the corner, even in the midst of the deepest suffering. This has always been true in my own life, even when I am not willing to believe it or trust God through it. There is always a chance to take our suffering and see it be transformed into something good and beautiful and holy in the world. For me, that never makes dealing with the pain or the suffering any easier, but it does help me remember that something is on the other side of it. It can be so easy to get stuck in what is right now that we forget what is promised to us if we remain faithful and patient and willing to enter into the resurrection.
The feelings we feel on Good Friday are turned into something new by Sunday. In just a matter of days, the individual pain of Jesus and our collective pain is transformed. God invites us to a life of hope, a life where we are not drowning in despair. God invites us to a life where we get to take our pain and our challenges and let them be born again into something beautiful.
The deepest pain and suffering that I carry with me are the parts of me that I hold most dear and find to be most holy. They have created a compassionate heart, an open mind and a generous spirit in me that I would not have otherwise. My wounds have given me a lens of love and compassion in this world that I needed. My wounds have forced me to understand myself and others on a deeper level, and have ultimately drawn me closer to the heart of Jesus.
To me, all of this doesn’t mean that we need to get past our wounds or pretend they don’t exist, but to let ourselves be more honest with God about our wounds and let God do what only God can do with them. When I was newer in my journey of faith, I thought that I had to put on a show for God and make it seem like all was well and good in my life, even when it wasn’t. I’ve learned over time that the bravest and most powerful posture we can take with God is one of radical authenticity (spoiler: God already knows what’s going on anyway). Lately, my conversations with God have been more real than ever. I’ve been saying it just like it is - without sugarcoating how I’m feeling. Prayer, in this season of my life, has been like talking to my best friend. When I’m walking, when I’m crying, when I’m driving, when I’m listening to music, I’ve opened up this back-and-forth dialogue about what is happening in my heart in a real way. What I’m starting to find is that the more honest I have been with God, the more healing, the more grace, and the more opportunity to see new life there has been. There is a sense of peace I have that I have never had before and I don’t think that’s a coincidence.
If you find yourself in a moment of despair or are feeling hopeless, there is new life waiting for you. It is just around the corner, even if you can’t see it yet. I wouldn’t say that unless I knew it to be true in my own life. It doesn’t mean things are instantly perfect or there is no pain, but it does mean there is hope. The toughest moments in my life have been made new and healed, through the love of Jesus, my friends and family, and my own care for myself. When I can’t comprehend what might be next, I try to take on the posture of Mary and say things like “yes, and…” to God. Yes, this hurts God, and I will continue to be faithful. Yes, I don’t understand this now God, and I will trust You. Yes, I want this thing to happen in my life, and I know Your plans for me are better than I could comprehend. To me, this posture keeps my hope alive.
We do not have to be drowning in despair. We are the Easter people.
