Nothing is Missing
I took the last month off from posting here as I celebrated my birthday and took an unexpectedly long vacation (2.5 weeks to be exact). It was amazing and absolutely what I needed. Highly recommend having 3 flights canceled and getting stranded on a beach vacation! As I begin the last year of my 20s, I have been reflecting a lot on where I am right now. To be honest, life is a lot different than I thought it would be at this point. In my teens and early 20s, I definitely had this image of being married with kids by the time I was 30. Don’t get me wrong, I still want that, but I also spent a good part of my last decade trying to rush all of those things as if life was about completing tasks on my life's to-do list. I spent the majority of the last decade looking for something I thought was missing in my life. Whether I would have said it out loud or not, subconsciously, I always felt like I had to find someone else to make me whole.
I have learned the hard way (a few times over) that trying to fill a void with another person will just end up exploding. But the other truth I have learned in the past year is that nothing is missing from my life. This feeling has been so freeing.
I am so done rushing into things just to try to get to a particular outcome. It really does not work. I’ve learned that who I am is complete and whole. For the first time in my life, I feel peace about that. I don’t lack anything in my life. The blessings I have are overflowing and they are more than enough. The people in my life bring me great joy, happiness, and comfort. The peace that I have through my relationship with God is more than enough. My friends and family love me for who I am and I get to live a beyond-beautiful life. Beyond all of the things external to me, I have also really come to love who I am. I love the person that I am. I am super proud of this girl and I wouldn’t choose to be with anyone else every single day. I don’t lack anything.
We have been conditioned to think that there is a particular path of achievement in life - you’re supposed to go to school, get a job, fall in love, get married, have kids, or whatever it is. I have come to realize that there is no “supposed to” in life. Your path is your path and nobody else’s. I have wasted so much energy worrying about how things are “supposed to” go that I’ve missed out on what is happening right here, right now, right in front of me. It doesn’t mean that I can’t have desires or hopes for my life (I still do), but it does mean that I can let go of all of the feelings that things were supposed to have gone a certain way by now. It’s not my path and the path I’m on is still good. I’m done rushing toward this idea of what happiness is supposed to be. I have happiness right here, inside of myself, and it’s been here all along.
It feels really freeing to arrive at this conclusion. Coming to terms and finding peace in the present is a gift. We all have this invitation waiting for us at any moment. It feels so good to let go of the “supposed to” and to live into the right now. I hope you’ll take a moment to appreciate what you have, and for just a second, let go of the idea that it is not enough. It doesn’t mean things are perfect, it doesn’t mean you don’t have challenges or desires for your future, but it does mean that your life is a gift and it should be cherished. I believe that when we can start to accept what is happening in your real life right now, we can start to make space for what could be. I hope you can find peace in that today.
