Learning How to #Adult?
After graduating college, I took a job at my alma mater where I managed programs for college students. I threw my whole self into that job (as I often do with many things). I loved the students I worked with. I was eager to make change and make a difference for people, and I had absolutely no boundaries. None. Zero. Work was my life and life was my work. It was cool while it lasted, but that also began to unravel at some point (more on that later). I had amazing mentors as a young adult - mentors from high school and college who poured themselves into me and really helped guide me to be successful. I credit them for the large majority of my success. Though I also learned quickly that part of good leadership was becoming the person and the leader I was meant to be - not the carbon copy of someone I looked up to. I realized in my mid-twenties that I had unique gifts to bring to the world. I have been designed in a specific way for a specific purpose, and every time I tried to replicate the way someone else was being or doing, it failed me. It’s an important lesson to learn as a twenty-something - be who you are. Be proud of who you are. Let the fullness of who you are shine. Don’t try to be someone you are not (people will see right through you).
It seemed like at work, I continued to work hard, dedicate myself and opportunities just kept opening for me. I know it is so much about who you know - I was privileged to have a lot of people in my corner who saw something in me and wanted to give me a chance. All of those chances ended up leading to a lot of success. I certainly f*cked up a lot along the way. There are many things I wished I had done differently.
That working journey took me from Siena College in Loudonville, NY to Brown University in Providence, RI. In Providence, I learned even more about the world and about myself. I was surrounded by some of the smartest advocates for social change I have ever met. I soaked up so much during that time about systems of oppression and activism, through the examples of my colleagues and students I worked with. My mind and heart kept opening during those years. I came to know myself better, become more independent and sure of myself and just absolutely loved my time there. It was so good for my journey in becoming a mature young adult, to be on my own in a new city, have to make new friends and colleagues, and really establish myself. I was thriving.
Then, a new opportunity presented itself. I was given the chance (right around my 26th birthday), to serve in a major leadership role as a Chief of Staff at a small liberal arts college in the midwest. I should mention that this offer came in the spring of 2020, just as COVID-19 began to take its hold on parts of the US and workplaces began locking down. It was certainly not the most ideal time to move halfway across the country. This idea totally scared me. The midwest was certainly not on my list of places to live in my lifetime and I was so so happy in my current job and life. Why would I leave? Then, as I began to consider my options, the opportunity felt too good to pass up. I was going to get to learn about leadership working directly for the President of a small college and get to see the operations of the college from behind the scenes. I have always built good relationships with people and I figured that those skills could be helpful as we began to build new relationships at the college. After some thought (not very much), I said yes. I was going to move my very wonderful life to Michigan.
That next year and a half proved to be very interesting. That whole story is a story for a book at a different time. What I’ll share is what remains true for me about this experience. It was the most challenging period of my life I had experienced. Beginning a job in a new place, in the middle of a pandemic was no easy task. The relationship-building (that I love to do!) was limited for most of the first year. We had Zoom call after Zoom call, distanced meetings with masks, and very few meals. This was definitely not the first year that I was expecting to say the least. My sense of myself was tested over and over again during this time. I became strong because that is all that I knew how to do.
