Becoming More of Myself Each Morning

This week I texted my best friend something along the lines of “I just want to keep getting better. I want to be great!” They got a good laugh out of that one. I have an unending desire to become the best version of myself. There have been seasons where that desire has been a bit obsessive and unhealthy, but I am starting to find my flow and a balance of growth and change without being too hard on myself. Most days, I wake up between 5am-6am to start my morning. There are days it’s hard to get my comfy self out of bed and I lay around until 7:30am. We’re not meant to be perfect. But on the days I wake up for my morning routine, I have been focused on starting my day by making some intentional time for growth and quiet. Most importantly, it is time between me and God before anyone else gets my attention. I’m a lover and a communicator by nature so it’s not out of the ordinary for my friends to get a text from me early in the morning checking in on them. My people are everything. I will keep shouting that from the rooftops.

I’ve learned that if I don’t spend my morning in quiet, solitude, stillness and making some time to be with me + God, the day can get away from me. One of my favorite scriptures comes from Lamentations 3:22-24 (NIV) which says:

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
    therefore I will wait for him.”

God’s mercy and love appear each morning for us; a fresh invitation to become more of ourselves. This scripture refreshes me, it grounds me and it gives me hope. No matter how tough the challenges the day before were, I am offered a new gift each day to become more of myself. Regardless of your faith or spiritual background or beliefs, I think this can still be true. Each day is a new gift to us. We don’t need to be held back by what has happened in our past, the ways we have hurt ourselves or others, or the ways we have failed. Each day, there is an open door for us to step into.

My morning routine has helped me focus on that gift and make the most of it. Over the years, I’ve played around with the things that make my day great and have come to value that time more than any other part of my day. The people in my life will know whether I made time for myself in the morning or not based on my mood. I’ve learned to be gentle with myself during that time. It used to be that my mornings were only about working out and pushing my body to its limits. I have taken a more gentle approach over the last few months, to allow myself to really tune in and better understand what I need in the moment. I’m going to share what my mornings look like to give people something to think about and perhaps implement pieces of in their life. But the truth is, we all need something different. Here’s what a typical morning looks like in Kelly Finn’s life right now:

5:30am: Wake up (this time is all over the place, sometimes its 3:45am, sometimes it’s 6am or 7am. I make it work regardless of the time I get up). FYI I have not always been a morning person. It takes practice and commitment to yourself. I’m not perfect and I’m not trying to be.

5:45am: First things first: COFFEE. I commit to water before coffee because #health but I basically jump out of bed to head to my beloved Nespresso machine. The highlight of my day, for real. Slow sipping of coffee on the couch; usually this time includes music, prayer, meditation, reading scripture, a book, etc. Sometimes quiet and stillness.

6:00am-6:45am: Yoga, meditation, strength training, walking, Peloton ride, etc. I take some time each morning to check in with myself and do what makes sense for my body that day. Yoga happens more often than not. If I only have time for 15 mins of movement, that’s what I do. If I have an hour, I use it. The point is just that my body gets moving. Music is on full blast. Sorry neighbors :)

7am- start getting ready for my day (shower, food, hair, etc).

This means that typically, about 90 minutes of my day is dedicated to what I need before I start doing anything else.

The hardest part of this routine hasn’t been the waking up early part (that can be learned and formed). The hardest part has been using the time for what I need it for and not getting caught up in the trap of perfectionism. I’ve often struggled with guilt if I don’t wake up early enough, work out for long enough, etc. I’ve learned that allowing myself to fall into that trap really defeats the purpose. If I’m going to spiral into guilt and shame, I might as well just stay in bed and sleep longer. It takes practice, focus and deep care, but I’m getting to a place where the mornings feel full of ease and without guilt or shame. This routine is not meant to be boot camp, it is a gentle roadmap for a good day. Sometimes when we’re traveling somewhere, we take some detours or we have to pull over on the side of the road for a break. My mornings are going to look different every day because I wake up differently every day. I’m not going to make myself feel guilty because I work out for 25 minutes instead of 45 minutes. It is still good.

What I know is that God’s invitation is waiting for me every day I wake up. It is a gift. I don’t want to lose sight of that because I get caught up in my own hamster wheel of perfectionism. This journey for me is about learning to take care of myself better, to tune in more deeply to my own needs, and to give myself some space each day to connect to God and to the truest parts of myself before the world gets in the way. It is precious. I hope you’ll find some ways to prioritize your own well-being and loving care each day. You deserve it ❤️